Matchmaker, Matchmaker Bring Me My Match: The bottom line is that you attract to yourself that which you think about (a lot). There is no judgement call involved about whether a particular thought is "good" or "bad" or whether its corresponding circumstance is "deserved" or "undeserved". The Law of Attraction is neutral. It does not judge, punish or reward. It simply serves to bring like energy together. Think of it as the great matchmaker. You submit your criteria via your habitual thoughts and beliefs and it brings you your perfect vibratory match, every time.
This fear gets triggered in a variety of ‘romantic’ situations–you may not consciously be aware that it is fear, it may manifest itself in a variety of ways—and people that are good matches for you can’t make their way in.  For example, you may meet some great people who you get along with great, but they just won’t be attracted to you, and it isn’t because there is anything wrong with you. In fact, if you were to ask someone why he wasn’t ‘feeling it’, he probably wouldn’t have a good answer. He wouldn’t’ be able to verbalize it.
Shelly Bullard, MFT is a Marriage and Family Therapist, Love Coach and Spiritual Teacher. She's the author of the eBook: How to Become the Most Attractive Version of Yourself which she offers for FREE (click here to receive your free copy). She's also the instructor of the popular mbg courses: How To Become The Most Attractive Version of Yourself & How to Attract a Partner Who's Ready for Deep, Devoted Love. Shelly believes that when you access the experience of Love within yourself, your relationships become deeply fulfilling and you become the person you’re meant to be. She was named the “Love Guru” as one of the 100 Women to Watch in Wellness by mindbodygreen, and her deepest passion is living and practicing love and relationships as a spiritual path. To learn more about how she can help you create more love in your life, visit her at: shellybullard.com.
If you read LOA websites and posts, you’d guess that it is might be over 90% effective - everybody seems to be achieving their goals this way. Talk to experts who deal with the general public trying to use a LOA, there’s a completely different story. The failure rate is huge! In fact, LOA expert John Assaraf estimated that the success rate is about 0.1%!! We believe this number to be correct.

I am so grateful I manifested this site/your book. I just read Manifesting Love and beginning first thing tomorrow I am going to intensely start the process of visualizing this guy into my life. The problem is he is a friend and although he talks to me and is friendly he has yet to make a move. I recently found out that he (31) may be dating a 23 year old girl who still lives at home with her parents. I know this girl and I would never want to get in the way of another’s relationship but I have such strong feelings for him. I just want him to start liking me. I also suffer from anxiety and depression which makes the negative feelings even more abundant. Do you have any tips for me? I really want to get this guy in the next 6 weeks. I appreciate any help I can get.
For one of a million reasons, we feel like we can’t be ourselves. We long to be. We just want to move through the world as we truly are, without the masks. This is especially true when it comes to relationships. If you asked someone to make a list of what he wanted in a partner, I imagine ‘loving me for who I am’ would near the top of anyone’s list, or at least anyone who wants a real, authentic relationship.
1) Continue to send out a Soul Call and hold your intention to welcome your Soulmate into your heart.  Connect with your Soulmate at the inner level by visualizing and feeling him/her as if he or she is already in your life.  You can do this by buying them a card, or setting a place for them at your dinner table.  You can also buy a soulmate ring, as a symbol of you holding a special place in your heart for your One.  You may also want to listen to my ‘Soul Call’ guided meditation, especially when you’re feeling disconnected or negative about your love life.
Feel it. Feel the way you will now after receiving your wish. You must act, speak, and think as if you are receiving it now. This is actually the most important, powerful step in using the Law of Attraction because this is where it starts working, and sometimes if you do this you don't feel like you need it anymore because you feel like you already have it! Therefore, the universe will manifest this thought and feeling, and you will receive it.

4)Transcend Your Childhood Drama (pgs. 199-211): This informative section lists essential information on steps anyone can take to make peace with their childhood in order to more joyfully help in transforming their adult self. I really appreciate (and found it healing) how the authors mention in one of their steps is to accept the truth that it was never about you (pg. 202-203). All the steps listed are very helpful, but the steps that resonated the most with me are the steps of rewiring your mental direction, belief relief, and doing it now.
And they'll try to use the "LoA" as a way to get more 'things' which really just satisfies ones ego and comes from a place of lack. They use it as a tool, as a means to an end. But it's not a tool, it's more of a "this is how it works" and being consciously aware of how it works can be pretty powerful, just not *necessarily* in the way many would think (red lamborghinis and such).

If you were to meet your soulmate today, and you chose to live together, would there be room in your life for them?  Okay, think you know what I’m getting at?  If you don’t start making actual time and space to be with your soulmate, you’re sending out a clear message to the Universe that you’re not ready to welcome him or her into your life. If what you truly want is to welcome your One into your life, and you are fully committed, then one of the best ways that you can accelerate this process is by consciously making room for them.
Overall, this was a very easy, simple to read book. Having seen (or should I say "experienced") ET live, I was quite eager to read his book. I was somewhat disappointed that the pages of his book failed to capture his essence more effectively. I will admit to being surprised of the numerous grammatical errors I encountered especially since he is an educator. Finally, although he may be referred to as the "hip-hop preacher" in some circles, there were a few banned words included here and there. This is NOT a religious book by any means.
Now that you understand what the Law of Attraction really is and how it works, let’s talk about the ways you can use it to improve your life. The Law of Attraction is a universal principle that is already working in your life. Start intentionally thinking and feeling what it is you want to attract into your life — such as money, love and relationships, health and spirituality — to make the Law of Attraction work for you.
The law of attraction manifests through your thoughts, by drawing to you thoughts and ideas of a similar kind, people who think like you, and also corresponding situations and circumstances. It is the law and power that brings together people of similar interests, who unite into various groups, such as political groups, sports teams, sports fans, fraternities, etc.
Love may not necessarily always happen by accident. By using the Law of Attraction and relationships, you can find the love you want, regardless of what people think about factors such as decisions, events, and thinking of individuals. Law of attraction for love works on the basis of what you are thinking about the relationship with a particular person. The Law of Attraction is basically a system that believes that encouraging positive thoughts can lead to positive results. The whole concept of law of relationship and love attracts energy. When the energy is positive, it tends to bring in positive results.
We can't always control our circumstances, but we can control our responses to them. In this vein, the Law of Attraction can provide the optimism and proactive attitude that's associated with resilience in difficult situations, but must not be used as a tool of self-blame. Our responses to the challenges we face can make us stronger in the end, and the Law of Attraction can be used for that end, but should not be applied negatively, or it can be more destructive than helpful.
Falling in and out of love is another concept that has been deeply studied. So, how would you know that you are definitely in love with him or her? Are there any indications that will help you understand whether you should fall for the particular person? In simple words, love doesn’t knock your door with permission. It simply does! Your work is to understand it and go with the flow.
My fiance and I had a very close knit relationship. As a matter of fact, we didn’t like being apart much at all. Unfortunately, life had us spend the last 8 months away from each other, because of work. It took its toll on the relationship which had already started to suffer because of financial reasons. And one day, almost out of the blue (well I could kind of feel it coming) , two days after telling me how he couldn’t wait to see me, and adored me, he sort of picked a fight, and broke up. From one day to the next, he completely closed the door on me. We went from constantly talking and missing each other, to nothing at all. I have been going through a very difficult time especially because I know that he didn’t break up because he didn’t love me, but he simply was not fulfilling his dreams fast enough because of our financial issues and felt that he had sacrified a lot for my ambition and put his on the backburner. We have had to speak a little because 5 years with someone, you can’t just go NC like that. Logistics had to be sorted out etc…. But he has become very cold all of a sudden, and I heard that it was the only way for him to get over it. He’s also moving to French Polynesia for 2 years. He says that moving forward and far away helps him deal with getting over us… In any case, our relationship was beautiful on the whole, but we simply had a break down in communication when it came to dealing with the pain of separation and money issues. I want him back of course and I will apply your advise from “Manifesting Love”. I know he is my soulmate as I am his. That much I know. However, he is moving so far away. I am going to be in the US and him in Tahiti. Do we even stand a chance? He could meet someone else, or just forget about me….I am lost. It’s only been 6 weeks and I am grieving. I don’t want someone better. I want him because we were something awesome. We just allowed fear to rule our lives….Need some TLC and encouragement :(… Thanks
It’s difficult to imagine that thoughts and feelings can have an effect on the world around us. Fortunately, advances in technology and science allow us to visibly and immediately experience the effects of our thoughts. Just like watching an apple fall through the air, there are experiments that demonstrate the immediate effects of thoughts and feelings.

It’s important to understand that mindfulness isn’t about changing anything or trying to understand it. This is because the analytical and judgement aspects — our automatic reactions — are unhealthy and actually perpetuate the problem. It reinforces the connection in our brain between the action and the negative feeling. To release that connection, approach it without judgement. Let it be.


Yes, I am familiar with that phrase, although not sure how it applies to this situation. I am the source and you would like me to consider myself? I do not have an employer. Psychology Today provides a forum for articles and discussions. They do not hire me or pay me. They are not the source of this information. I take full responsibility for the content.

5) Start each day by turning your Heart Light on.  How can you do this? With a gratitude prayer for all that is happening in your life and for the deep knowing that your Soulmate is even now on his/her way to you.  Affirm that you are meeting in Divine and Perfect time, and know that while you wait patiently for their arrival in your life, both you and your Soulmate are growing, and wrapping up any unfinished business while the Universe engineers your connection.
The most powerfilled state is when you start living a through me life. And you can’t do that if you just keep make it about you, feeling lack. Start living for your purpose, to help others, and to give. Yes, you can still want the Audi R8 and collection of motorcycles like I do. But those are just things and they won’t truly make you happy. “Things” will be the by product of living a purpose filled life.
The Traditionally Scientific Explanation: If you’re one who needs things to be a little more easy to prove, there is also a different explanation for how the law of attraction works. By focusing on attaining a new reality, and by believing it is possible, we tend to take more risks, notice more opportunities, and open ourselves up to new possibilities. Conversely, when we don’t believe that something is in the realm of possibilities for us, we tend to let opportunities pass by unnoticed. When we believe we don’t deserve good things, we behave in ways that sabotage our chances at happiness. By changing our self-talk and feelings about life, we reverse the negative patterns in our lives and create more positive, productive and healthy ones. One good thing leads to another, and the direction of a life can shift from a downward spiral to an upward ascent.
From this knowledge, it can be stated that your entire “reality” is all within your head. There is nothing “out there” even though it seems like it. It’s the case of the popular question, “if a tree falls in a forest and nobody’s there to hear it, does it make a sound?” The idea is that you cannot experience your reality without actively perceiving it and this is the fundamental basis of the Law of Attraction.
Oral Roberts laid the foundations of the prosperity gospel,[25] but his teachings on abundant life and seed-faith have important differences from teachers of the Faith Movement. Even though Roberts was often associated with the prosperity gospel and the faith movement because of his close doctrinal and personal ties with Word-Faith teachers, his abundant life teachings did not fully identify him with that movement.[26]
The journey of welcoming your Soulmate is a journey towards your authentic nature.  It’s not a journey of finding somebody who is going to love you, make you happy, or give you something that you don’t already have, but rather it is a journey of growing yourself and your own capacity to love yourself first before you can love others or welcome and recognize their love.  It is about becoming more yourself, doing all the necessary clearing out, and embracing all the darker, subtle, shadow aspects of yourself that you’ve been unwilling to look at.
The most powerfilled state is when you start living a through me life. And you can’t do that if you just keep make it about you, feeling lack. Start living for your purpose, to help others, and to give. Yes, you can still want the Audi R8 and collection of motorcycles like I do. But those are just things and they won’t truly make you happy. “Things” will be the by product of living a purpose filled life.
Besides, getting your turn to succeed won’t work unless you can execute, and steer away from harmful behavior that destroys whatever progress you have made towards success. That’s where the fourth secret comes in: get your priorities right; use your resources wisely; stay focused; develop the right relations; don’t be greedy; and don’t be complacent—as we have discussed in a separate piece.

This means you won’t be able to find the love you have been yearning for from anyone. The thoughts that go through your mind are the ones that manifest in your life through your actions, emotions and attitude. If your tend to harbor negative thoughts that revolve around how lonely or depressed you are then that is the way you will be feeling in the end.


Just in case I haven’t made my point clearly enough, the attraction process is all about how we feel, so it is really good to get into the feelings that lie behind our desires, as much as we can. Think about what sort of feelings you want in your relationship. Are you after a sense of ease in interacting with this person, without any drama? Do you want someone who shares your same passions and interests? Then, visualize yourself in these encounters.
If you are bemoaning your single status, and feeling like you are incomplete without a relationship, you are vibing "lack" and you will just get more of it. This doesn't mean giving up on the idea of having a relationship, it simply means, that if you want to manifest a relationship in order to feel whole and complete, you must find a way to feel whole and complete now.
You should remain in a state of “as if” when using the Law of Attraction for a specific person. When you give attention to what is, you give it power to create more of what is. You should relax and allow your manifestation to occur, as you have always done. It’s a great way to create what you want and, as you release resistance and become more detached, you’ll be able to reach that state more easily.
Develop a belief in what I call the “reverse paradigm shift”. In other words, go for it before you have all the answers. Those so called negative energies (known as cognitive dissonance) are actually the magical seeds of creation and unlimited possibilities. Your destiny and your abundance will always be preceded by confusion and uncertainty. Ask anyone who’s been on the journey.
By implementing daily positive practices in our lives, we will shift and raise our energetic vibration so that we can manifest from a place of calm, inspired action yielding faster results. If you get into the habit of using tools that will insert empowering and positive thoughts into your mind, you'll be poised to produce good experiences and results!
Realize you will likely have smaller manifestations first that show you are lining up more with what you want, like noticing more people you find attractive, when before, you saw no one, meeting people that have desirable qualities that you note as being important in a partner, or seeing more people "like you" in happy relationships, whether they are overweight, divorced or whatever personal characteristic that you think makes finding love harder.
Don’t force yourself to do things that don’t feel good to you, if you really don’t want to do them. So, if you hate going to bars, don’t go every weekend. You want to act from a place of lightness and inspiration when you do act. You don’t want to act from a place of force or fear. There is never anything we must do to attract a certain thing into our life. If taking certain actions makes you feel good in the sense it nurtures a feeling that you will get find this relationship, then go for it. Just don’t get attached to the online dating, the blind dates, and the various outings that will put you in contact with the types of people you hope to meet. Have fun with it.
Be sure to start this list by stating whether if your Soulmate is single, straight/gay (yes, you must be that specific) and available for a healthy, loving, committed, long-term relationship (or marriage if that is what you want.) Also, be sure to include that he or she lives close enough to you, and/or is willing to relocate if necessary for the two of you to be together. It is very important that you do not get too attached to this list, but rather release it by saying to yourself, “I welcome this, or something better!”
How is that one person is willing to do all that it takes to reach their goals, while another person gives in to silent resignation at the first sign of resistance? Why is one person willing to sacrifice nearly everything in order to live the life of their dreams, while others are too afraid to take the next step in fear of suffering through a catastrophic failure or embarrassment?
×