Develop a belief in what I call the “reverse paradigm shift”. In other words, go for it before you have all the answers. Those so called negative energies (known as cognitive dissonance) are actually the magical seeds of creation and unlimited possibilities. Your destiny and your abundance will always be preceded by confusion and uncertainty. Ask anyone who’s been on the journey.
2) The Second List: Deal Breakers. It’s now time get clear about what I call the ‘Deal Breakers’. These are the ‘red lights’ that you want to watch out for when you start meeting people. This is a smaller list where you identify at least three qualities that if this person were to exhibit, you would not engage in a relationship with them. In other words, the deal would be off.
Erin shows overscheduled, overwhelmed women how to do less so that they can achieve more. Traditional productivity books—written by men—barely touch the tangle of cultural pressures that women feel when facing down a to-do list. How to Get Sh*t Done will teach you how to zero in on the three areas of your life where you want to excel, and then it will show you how to off-load, outsource, or just stop giving a damn about the rest.
So what does that tell you? Well, when I asked myself the same question years ago before I started doing this work, what I realized was that in order for me to attract and manifest my Soulmate, I must somehow develop and grow myself into the kind of person that I myself want to be with. In other words, if you haven’t found the right person it’s probably because you are not being the right person! As Marianne Williamson says, “We must become the person we want to attract.”
If you’re practicing the technique on something bigger, this exercise may be tricky, but use your imagination. If you’re trying to lose weight, go out and buy an outfit that fits the size you’re aiming for. If you want a new car, go to a dealership and shop around. If you’re aiming for something as big as complete financial freedom, start planning what you’re going to do with all that free time and money.
The Traditionally Scientific Explanation: If you’re one who needs things to be a little more easy to prove, there is also a different explanation for how the law of attraction works. By focusing on attaining a new reality, and by believing it is possible, we tend to take more risks, notice more opportunities, and open ourselves up to new possibilities. Conversely, when we don’t believe that something is in the realm of possibilities for us, we tend to let opportunities pass by unnoticed. When we believe we don’t deserve good things, we behave in ways that sabotage our chances at happiness. By changing our self-talk and feelings about life, we reverse the negative patterns in our lives and create more positive, productive and healthy ones. One good thing leads to another, and the direction of a life can shift from a downward spiral to an upward ascent.
Besides, getting your turn to succeed won’t work unless you can execute, and steer away from harmful behavior that destroys whatever progress you have made towards success. That’s where the fourth secret comes in: get your priorities right; use your resources wisely; stay focused; develop the right relations; don’t be greedy; and don’t be complacent—as we have discussed in a separate piece.
Don't wait for the relationship to manifest; you must first become the person who already has these qualities. This includes preparing your space for the partner of your dreams: Clean out your closet, empty a draw or replace that worn-out wallpaper. Think of all the ways in which you can prepare yourself and your life to be in perfect alignment with your perfect mate.
This type of thing happens because we showed up, desperate, and without clarity about what we really wanted. The same applies to manifesting your Soulmate. You already know what you DON’T want. So let’s put the main focus on putting together a list of what you DO WANT that is in alignment with your core values and expresses what you want to experience and share in your new relationship.
We tend to think of gratitude as a spontaneous emotion, something that just happens to us in moments of triumph or success. In reality, though, gratitude is something we develop.And just like all the other not-so-secret secrets on this list, it is something we choose, something we make a wide-eyed, premeditated, self-determined decision to experience.