It wasn’t until the morning after our little ‘party’ that I noticed something taped to the refrigerator – something that impacts me each time I read it. It was the IBD 10 Secrets to Success. Once my head cleared, I quickly copied them down and read them over and over again. After our vacation I made copies and posted them in my home office and inside a journal I decided to keep.
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This freaks people out because they believe feeling happier now as a single person will cancel their 'order' with the Universe for a relationship. But don't worry... it doesn't work like that. Wanting and needing something to happen is not what brings it to you... trust me. Feeling the feelings that lie behind what you want now, and detaching from the idea this thing needs to happen for you to be happy, is what does -- much more quickly and easily.
The analogy is simple: if you’re carrying a passenger in your car, there won’t be room for your Soulmate to sit in it! So, if you’re still in love with this person, but you know that they are not your soul mate and/or there is no possibility of a true, loving, committed relationship with them, it’s time to let them go. This does not mean you have to stop loving them. It simply means that you have to find a new space in your heart for them, a special chamber where you will put all the people whom you have loved in the past.
I have been struck over the years by how many people fail despite growing up with all the advantages of money and good health; and by how many others there are who start off impaired and impeded by emotional and physical illness and being born into dysfunctional and abusive families, and still manage to succeed. Included in those success stories is a man who could not attend school growing up because of a phobia which then prevented him from leaving his neighborhood, but who ended up owning three or four food franchises. He had previously failed in one business after another. Another man with a similar story ended up going to medical school at a somewhat advanced age and became a pediatrician.
Falling in and out of love is another concept that has been deeply studied. So, how would you know that you are definitely in love with him or her? Are there any indications that will help you understand whether you should fall for the particular person? In simple words, love doesn’t knock your door with permission. It simply does! Your work is to understand it and go with the flow.
Other than that, the parameters of success are actually pretty broad. You can be successful as an extrovert, or as an introvert, you can be successful if you get up at six and start your day with birdsong, and you can be successful if you work late into the night. You can be successful if you believe in yourself and you can be successful if you are ridden with self-doubt. Equally, the same principle works in reverse. Some unsuccessful people have incredibly high opinions of themselves.
Now, suppose that you begin to get clear about the kind of person that your soulmate is. And you decide he or she is Abundant, Affectionate, Ambitious, Beautiful, Caring, Charismatic, Considerate, Creative, and so forth. Now, imagine that this person – who possess all of these wonderful qualities – was simultaneously looking back at you and secretly seeing you the way that you are right now, do you think that they would be proud of what they were seeing? Would they be interested in hanging out with you, in dating you? Chances are, the answer is no.
The most powerfilled state is when you start living a through me life. And you can’t do that if you just keep make it about you, feeling lack. Start living for your purpose, to help others, and to give. Yes, you can still want the Audi R8 and collection of motorcycles like I do. But those are just things and they won’t truly make you happy. “Things” will be the by product of living a purpose filled life.
“The authors provide terrific insight and practical advice on how to develop a road map for that ‘next’ phase in your life and better prepare you for long-term success. I recommend this for anyone invested in the lives of student-athletes, but especially for aspiring or current student-athletes … it’s never too late to start thinking about what’s next.”—Amy Huchthausen, Commissioner, America East Conference
The 3% of the class that had both set written goals and created plans, were earning, on average, ten times as much as the other 97% of the class. Yes. You read that correctly. 10 times as much. This is an extraordinary difference. And other, more recent studies, have confirmed the same notion that you must set written goals with detailed plans if you want to succeed in life.